“USA! USA! USA!”
Yes, I get it. You’re American. Me too.
That’s where we started. Armed with knowledge of our country of residence and an ability to abbreviate, we launched the USA chant on unsuspecting eardrums. Unsure of what else to say, other than perhaps, “Ref, you suck,” or other expletive-ridden versions like, “Ref you [insert expletive] suck,” we pushed the USA chant to its limits, alternating between stiff chants and Jersey Shore-esque fist pumping while repeating the same three letters over and over again. And I’m glad we did it, lest we be confused with our neighbors to the north. You know, the ones with the socialized medicine.
After a long and tedious memorization process, it makes sense that we continue to hold on to our original anthem. Sure it’s time that we begin to broaden our musical horizons, but we should also never forget where we come from. But even as we remain with one foot firmly rooted in the musical Stone Age, it’s hard to ignore that our sounds are steadily progressing, which is praiseworthy considering we are still barely adolescents, at least from a supporter perspective.
South Africa has vuvuzela orchestras. Brazil has distinct samba rhythms. England has irony. And at some point, we’ll have something. But what might that thing sound like?
As the purveyors of so much fine contemporary music, from hip hop to jazz, soul, country and soft rock, there is no shortage of music to consider. So here are a few half-baked ideas.
Perhaps there’s room for Historically Black Colleges and Universities to bring their distinct sounds into our soccer specific stadiums.
Or maybe even a half decent drumline.
Tell me jamming to some live music like this and getting your syncronized dance on in the crowd wouldn’t be the coolest thing ever. Other nations would sweat us. It would be distinctly American and instruments would be involved. Everybody loves instruments. It could be like a little Mardi Gras every week … without the vomit and gratuitous brawling.
Or.
How about DJs assuming the conductor role in various sections of the crowd? We could even have guest DJs. Biz Markie could do a set followed by Pete Rock, each guiding the crowd through cultish selections. CDs could be sold.
Or better yet, local DJs from each city could guide supporters through selections of local music. For instance, Philly might get some fine cuts from DJ Jazzy Jeff. DC could have a bit of Latin music, Go-Go, and classic rock. LA could have a fine selection of techno and Miley Cyrus. And Seattle could play Nirvana for two hours. The possibilities are endless, except of course for Colorado where they would have to make up some type of indigenous music. Perhaps a unique type of poetry. Or maybe they could just recruit Alexi Lalas to do something like this. I mean what’s more Colorado than … this.
Our options are limitless. But what about Clint Dempsey music you ask? Pass. I have no interest in Clint continuing to tread on my eardrums. Unless he’s interested in a duet with Lalas. That just might be worth the price of admission.
