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Outside the Lines

Obama Plays Soccer in Brazil, Needs to Work on First Touch

by Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq.

President Barack Obama needs to work on his touch if he truly wants to be in contention for a roster spot for the 2011 Gold Cup, and eventually, the 2014 World Cup in Brazil. Thankfully for Obama fans, time is on his side.

One of Obama’s biggest obstacles to raising his game is the group of staffers/embassy officials/state department staff standing in the background while he’s juggling, clapping emphatically because it’s their job. They seem like overly supportive parents who repeatedly tell their child that s/he is amazing, even when a dose of reality might help the child improve. (more…)

Outside the Lines | Politics
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Outside the Lines

Ahmadinejad and Morales Play Futsal — No Violence to Report

by Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq.

Iran Football Federation

It seems like every time I turn around there’s a president playing soccer. Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad apparently didn’t want to be left out of the YouTube action and recently took to the futsal court with special guest, Bolivian President and YouTube superstar Evo Morales. Morales was in Iran for trade talks and was invited to join Ahmadinejad and other local players for some staged exercise. Things seemingly went well. Thus far, there have been no reports of Morales getting out of hand. Although if he did, I’m not sure we’d hear about it. (more…)

Outside the Lines | Politics
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Outside the Lines

Why Can’t We All Just Get Along?

by Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq.

Iran vs Israel

Every year, the Iranian Football Federation (FFI) sends out a New Year’s greeting to every national federation that is a member of FIFA … except for “the football federation from the Zionist regime” of course.  This year, however, the FFI made a boo boo.  Mohammad-Manour Azimzadeh, head of the FFI foreign relations office, apparently forgot to take Israel off of his master New Year’s greeting list.  Don’t worry Mohammad, you’re not the first to make this mistake … but from now on make sure you double check your recipient list.  Unfortunately, in the future, it looks like he’ll have to do this check from a different email address because Mr. Azimzadeh has “resigned” in light of this incident.

(more…)

Outside the Lines | Politics
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Outside the Lines

Egyptian Recall

by Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq.

Egyptian Police

So just in case anyone out there doubts the craziness that is football or soccer, or whatever you want to call it, I give you Egypt.

Following defeat at the hands of Algeria for a World Cup spot, Egypt has recalled its ambassador from Algeria.  To be fair, it seems that a fair amount of violence has been going down on both sides as a result of the tension brought about by the match.

(more…)

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