Nutmeg Radio » Pub Talk

South African Football Association Using Advanced Monitoring to Gain the Upper Hand

Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq. — Thu, 29 Jul 2010 20:58:00 +0000

South African Football Association (SAFA) president Kirsten Nematandani tried to downplay fears that SAFA spies on all soccer officials. SAFA only spies on some of them. Duly noted.

SAFA vice-president Shoes Mazibuko and Danny Jordaan, former chief executive of the 2010 World Cup Local Organizing Committee, recently found monitoring devices in their respective vehicles. Already, SAFA has confirmed that its financial director, Gronie Hluyo, instructed the fleet management department to install the monitoring devices. Who knew that financial directors were also responsible for monitoring?

SAFA’s president expressed surprise at the fact that Mazibuko and Jordaan were monitored since their fleet of cars should only be monitored for administration purposes. You know, to ensure that the proper paperwork was being filled out by those using the cars … or something like that. Nematandani hoped to quell a firestorm, stating, “I think what fell short here was that the guys did not apply their mind, they just applied it across board. It’s not supposed to… There’s no reason why we should monitor [them].”

Special.

Next time the folks in the fleet management department need to think through who gets monitored.

My suggestion for the US Soccer Federation? It’s time to reassess your financial director position because there could be a place for advanced monitoring techniques in player monitoring. Perhaps we could use ankle bracelets to monitor player movement to determine whether youth players are negotiating with other federations. We should be doing everything in our power to keep every youth player in the States. We can’t afford to let countries like South Africa gain the upper hand.

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World Cup 2010 Oscars: And the Winner Is …

Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq. — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 19:25:45 +0000

The World Cup is over. Carlos Puyol is a world champion but still refuses to get a haircut. Africa’s first World Cup has ended without any of the players falling prey to lions and tigers like in Kenya, or polar bears or unicorns for that matter. As far as we know, Jacob Zuma hasn’t married anyone else and the universe is still in decent running condition, not great, but decent.

In celebration of the previous month of almost non-stop soccer, we’ve decided to roll out a few World Cup Oscar Awards. We’ve left out the US because the homeland deserves its own set of awards. So rest of the world, here you go.

Best Team Entrance

Without question, the award goes to Bafana Bafana. Marching towards the field in their opening game against Mexico, you could tell who was coming through the tunnel before you saw anyone. With a distinctly South African sound, Bafana Bafana did their best to drown out the vuvuzelas with this rousing tune (dance steps included):

Best Actor

Arjen Robben. Who else? Sure, some might remember Robben’s World Cup for his darting runs forward or his mesmerizing ability to take on entire teams with one foot. But it wouldn’t be difficult to remember his displays on the world’s biggest stage for his incomparable acting ability inspired by his idol, Greg Louganis. Feigning injury is an art. And Arjen Robben is Picasso, part genius, all drama.

Best Celebration

Could it be a tie? We had a hard time with this category. It came down to two entrants. South Africa and Slovenia. South Africa for Siphiwe Tshabalala’s first goal of the tournament, which was not only synchronized, but also historically important as the first goal in Africa’s first World Cup, fantastically scored by a South African. Slovenia simply because they had the most awesomely awkward celebration maybe in the history of organized sport. So South Africa and Slovenia, I hope you can learn to share because you are co-winners and have no choice but to do so.

Best Villain

With 8,000 fouls, Mark Van Bommel, you get the award for the most hated villain of the tournament. But let’s be fair here. Van Damme … I mean Van Bommel did the dirty work that every team needs, miraculously staying on the pitch by, as he claims, befriending referees. Junior villains, take note. If you want to rough it up on the world’s biggest stage, it pays to be nice to the man in charge. Small talk can get you far.

Nigel De Jong, Van Damme’s midfield partner was a close second in the voting. De Jong apparently watched his partner in Bloodsport prior to the final. Where else would he have gotten the inspiration to jump kick Xabi Alonso in the chest?That was inspired evil. A tackle so bad, I don’t even think we can call it a tackle.

Best Impromptu World Cup Fan Celebrations

Come on down, Argentina! If you happen to be at a World Cup match featuring Argentina and happen to be near some Argentines, be sure to follow them right after the match like we did. This is what you’ll see before you leave the stadium. And it will go on for more than an hour. That, I can assure you. And be sure to keep your eye out for the Budweiser bottle in the first clip. Crafty, crafty Argentines.

Most Creative Fans

South Korea, South Korea, South Korea. If you saw our earlier post about the White Album of flags, you’ll know why South Korea wins this hands down. Here’s a quick picture to remind you of the level of creativity that South Korean fans brought to South Africa, but to get the full dose, check out our earlier post.

Player of the Tournament

It would be easy to go with Iniesta, Forlan, Jabulani or that wretched octopus. But this one goes to the vuvuzela, that snazzy little plastic horn that has terrorized ears and frustrated pundits around the world for the past month. I must admit, most things that dominant cultures find annoying make me smile. I mean how can you truly dislike anything that drives cranky, old Englishmen crazy. The vuvuzela is the one player in South Africa that consistently dominated the opposition. And perhaps other than Forlan, in 20 years, I submit that the stand out player of the 2010 World Cup will be the vuvuzela. Vuvuzela, all the kids are doing it.

Best Technician

Suppose I told you about a player so technically proficient that he could juggle with bubble gum, literally. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you Mesut Özil, the young German virtuoso who took South Africa by storm. The trickery in the video below might not be sanitary, but it’s cool, like Don Johnson and Billy Dee Williams cool. We don’t need Nostradamus to tell us that we’ll be seeing a lot more from this gum juggler in the future. Yes, gum.

Cristiano Ronaldo Self-Love Award

This award goes to the team captain that would rather shoot from midfield than pass to a teammate who also happens to play professionally. Congrats, Cristiano. It’s yours. Next.

Best Former Colonizer

Step aside England and France, with your washed up former colonial selves. Barcelona … I mean Spain is the new, former colonial champion. While it’s true that Les Blues and the Three Lions were already wavering, their lack of invention in South Africa, compounded with a slew of other problems, ensured that their colonial legacies will remain just that, legacies for the foreseeable future. Enter Spain, with the swagger of a colonizer, not saying much, while taking over vast swaths of territory with slick passing movements. While people focused on their inability to score in South Africa, Spain focused on results. Controlling the match was always the priority, but when it came to conquer, the Spaniards were ruthless. But a warning for the people: Keep an eye on your valuables (as Arsene Wenger will quickly tell you) because those those active in the colonization industry enjoy playing mind games to convince you to part with prized possessions. All I’m saying is, keep your eyes on your stuff.

Most Inspirational Pitch

Certainly not Port Elizabeth’s Nelson Mandela Stadium that looked like the golf course from Caddyshack. Soccer City or Ellis Park? Nope. We’re going with the soccer field at Robben Island. Even though the pitch is no longer used (thankfully), this field on the prison island that used to house Nelson Mandela and countless other political prisoners during apartheid served as a brief sporting refuge from the daily horrors of prison life.

And just in case you were wondering what the prisoners were fed, here are the meal allocations, of course broken down by race:

Some people refuse to have any perspective when it comes to judging the World Cup, choosing to see everything as simply a sporting event. Beyond sport, Africa’s first World Cup is truly an amazing story, considering that not too long ago, South Africans were living in a world that most people only read about in history books. Perhaps this is a sobering point to end the Oscars, but this should be a point to celebrate, rather than to mourn.

Congrats to South Africa for a great World Cup. I hope you all enjoyed the show. Please do come again. Stay tuned for the aftershow …

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World Cup: Wake Me Up When Something Exciting Happens

The Chairman — Fri, 02 Jul 2010 00:00:14 +0000

It may just be me, but the level of sheer magic in this World Cup has been absent in comparison to past events. To date, there has been too little in the form of excitement and wonder. Where are the nuggets of sublime creativity or sheer force of will that have made previous campaigns the stuff of folklore? Am I being too nostalgic or has the game evolved to this? Where is the wonder goal created out of nothing that the next generation will be talking about and trying to replicate on the football field? I may be getting ahead of myself with the quarterfinals less than a day away, but this World Cup has been as exciting as watching paint dry for the following three reasons:

Poor Officiating: I don’t mean to beat a dead horse. I love horses too much to do that, but aside from being unfair, the officiating in this World Cup has removed the intrigue that normally grips this competition. Far too often, it appears that officials play it safe and favor the ‘Better Known Soccer Nations”. For example if Argentina’s second goal was ruled offside as it should have been, the game would have been more interesting, at least for non-Argentine fans. Spain has benefited twice from favorable officiating. In the game against Chile, a penalty should have been awarded to Chile but wasn’t, and in the Spain vs. Portugal Round of 16 match, a Portuguese defender was sent off after a Spanish player clearly dived. Many argue that such events don’t matter, but they do. When the game is allowed to unfairly get away from a team, it takes away the intrigue and the possibility of the losing team getting back in the game. What is a contest if the underdog isn’t even given a fighting chance to begin with?

Too Cautious: Many teams have decided to go out and not lose games as opposed to going out to win games. The counter-attacking methodology that has permeated club football has also infected international competition. Granted, at the club level, the business ramifications of winning and losing warrants such an approach, but I was hoping that at the World Cup, teams would be a bit more adventurous. In the game against Brazil and Spain, it appeared that Carlos Queiroz was content walking away with a ‘good showing’ as opposed to committing men forward in an attempt to win the game. In the game against Argentina, it appeared that Nigeria was more concerned with defending as opposed to going out and forcing the issue against a team that had a hard time qualifying for the tournament. If there were ever a time to have a go at Diego and the boys, it was at that first match.

The Jabulani Ball: I don’t know about you, but all I see with the Jabulani is a bunch of errant passing and shooting. FIFA should have said no to this ‘technological marvel’ instead of to goal-line technology and instant replay. Because of the cautious approach embraced by some managers, teams have been unwilling to send enough players forward when in the final third, and as a result, players have resorted to “pulling a Ronaldo”. (You know, when a ‘world-class’ player refuses to share the ball with his teammates and resorts to ripping shots from 40 yards and watching them sail off target out over and over again.) Surprisingly, this new approach has not been very successful. Maybe, just maybe, FIFA’s penchant for allowing Adidas to introduce a new and “technologically improved” ball before the start of the World Cup isn’t such a bright idea, but then again what do I know. On second thought, forget I said anything. Sepp may just use it as an excuse to do away with the ball all together.

Here’s hoping things take a turn for the better from here on out, otherwise this World Cup may be known as the World Cup that put people to sleep.

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Will Rap for Trophies or at Least Advancing to the Knockout Stage

Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq. — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 16:29:11 +0000

Ay yo, Lando, tell ‘em the truth / He’ll still end up polishin’ boots – Candyman, “Polishin’ Boots Remix”

If U.S. Men’s National Team players were rappers. No, that’s it, if they were rappers. One shouldn’t read this expecting the tired comparisons where white people are required to resemble white people and brownish people need to resemble other brownish people. Rather, we’re doing this based on character traits. Is there an MC who is a better rapper stunt double for the players selected below? Let us know! And remember, characteristics, not appearance.

Will Smith aka The Fresh Prince (Tim Howard aka Timmaaay)

“On the playground is where I spent most of my days / Chillin out, maxin’, relaxin’ all cool, and shootin’ some b-ball outside of the school / When a couple of guys, they were up to no good, started making trouble in my neighborhood / I got in one little fight and my coach got scared, and said you’re moving to Manchester.”

Damn, that’s harsh. Innit. But if anyone can handle it, it’s this guy. He’s as versatile in his position as anyone. Ali, Six Degrees of Separation, Summertime – he’s the complete package. But on the way to the top, he was doubted at every turn. Fortunately, he is a humble man, and his humility has allowed him to focus on proving his doubters wrong. Now look at him. He’s the number one guy in the box.

Mix-Tape Song: Fresh Prince of Bel Air Theme Song

Common (Carlos Bocanegra)

“My style is too developed to be arrested / It’s the freestyle, so now it’s out on parole / Fulham tried to hold my soul in a holding cell so I would sell / I bonded with a break and had enough to make bail.”

This laid back character is never scared of testing out new territory. When it’s time to move, he doesn’t hesitate to change it up. He can do it in various positions. He’s always dependable and never flashy. No bling, no craziness. Just a quiet leader always ready to lead the team into battle and ready to spit fire when called upon.

Mix-Tape Song: Resurrection

Asher Roth (Jay DeMerit)

“Now if everybody would please / Put their drink as high as they can / As high as they can (As high as they can) / And repeat after me / WISCONSIN! WISCONSIN! BEER, BEER, BEER!”

Where did this dude come from? This relatively new kid on the block came up and before you knew it, he was on the VH-1 Hip Hop Awards hanging around guys who not too long ago wouldn’t have been caught dead in the same city, let alone the same room as him. But he’s won over plenty of doubters, making a pretty penny along the way. He keeps it plain, simple, and is willing to fight with anyone within reason to make his name. From no where to playing at the highest level, just like that. Whether you like his style or not, his rise in the game is impressive.

Mix-Tape Song: I Love College & Leinenkugels (It’s the remix)

Canibus (Oguchi Onyewu)

“Straight clippin’, from DC to Great Britain / And when he shows up, he makes the Queen pay admission.”

Ignore the size, pay attention to the intimidation. He’s a beast of a man, capable of crushing challengers. In a battle, as he’s shown in the past against players with great pedigree, he will take you out. But with huge expectations on his shoulders, he’s faltered at times. But unquestionably, the talent is there. Whether he can summon his strength and meet his potential remains to be seen. He’s not a young buck in the game, but in his position, he’s got a few years ahead of him; if he wants it bad enough, that is.

Mix-Tape Song: Buckingham Palace

PM Dawn (Steve Cherundolo)

“A careless whisper from a careless man, a neutron dance for a neutron fan / marionette strings are dangerous things, I thought of all the trouble they bring / An eye for an eye, a spy for a spy, rubber bands expand in a frustrating sigh”

Um, what? I don’t know what he does, but a lot of people like this dude. There aren’t too many people follow him openly, but he’s got to have some obsessive supporters out there. Although, he likes to lay back in the cut, we’ve noticed a few things that we can share. He’s techincal, soft, reliable and perhaps bigger in Europe than he ever was in the States. And he’s huge in Hannover, Germany, just like Hasselhoff and 99 Luftballons.

Mix-Tape Song: Set Adrift on a Memory Bliss (and yes, I’m aware PM Dawn is a group, I just happen to not care very much)

Wyclef Jean (Landon Donovan)

“Every time I make a run, you turn around and cry / I ask myself why, oh why / See, you must understand, I can’t work a 9 to 5 / So I’ll be goooone … for the season / Said I’ll be gone for the season, I’ll be gone for the season / Yo, tell my girl, I’m on loan for the season / January, February, March, April, May / I see you cryin’, but girl, I can’t stay”

Started off with a bang, coming up with one of the most talented crews around. Then he broke out to do his own thing, showing that he was good enough to do it on his own. A poster child for a new generation, he picked up the torch for a new stylish way of playing. Lots was expected of him. But periodic flashes of brilliance sprinkled with anonymous appearances raised questions, whether valid or not. But it’s time to show that he can focus and show that he can be the player we all want him to be.

Mix-Tape Song: Gone ‘Til November

Redman (Michael Bradley)

“Time for some, time for some action! Let’s get ready for Red Cards!!”

He’s a feisty one, isn’t he. Brash, ready to beat you down and then get in your face, it’s no surprise that he’s the guy most likely to get kicked out of a venue. But he also might be the guy you just can’t afford to leave behind for the same reasons. Let’s just hope that he can walk the tightrope and can turn in a masterpiece instead of being sent away for poor behavior. Either way, he’ll be ready to rumble.

Mix-Tape Song: Time for Some Action

Rakim (Maurice Edu)

“I don’t bug out or chill or be actin’ ill / No tricks since ’06, it’s time to build / Mo B easy on the cut, no mistakes allowed / ‘Cause to me, ME means move the crowd”

He’s always been in demand. Ever since he was a young’un. He’s steadily climbed the ladder from underground to a rung where he’s recognizable, at least to those paying attention. But he’s certainly not a commercial success in the same way as some of his contemporaries. Can he break through that glass ceiling? Only time will tell. But he had me at dun, duh, dun, duh … dun, dun, duh (that’s the beat from Eric B. is President if you couldn’t tell).

Mix-Tape Song: Eric B. is President

Scarface (Clint Dempsey)

“Everyday it’s been the same old thang on my block / Ya either workin or ya slangin stanky legs on my block / Ya had to hustle, cuz that’s how we was raised on my block / And ya stayed on ya hop until ya made you a shot.”

No one really expected this Texas native to turn into the player carrying the weight and to have been the biggest catalyst for the game in Texas since George Bush … no, bad example, whatever, you get my point. The man has already broken down doors when no one probably ever expected him to be in the house. But when you hustle on his block, you can make it happen. P.S. – Some people think he’s a horrible rapper, but I’ll let you and your people on your block be the judge.

Mix-Tape Song: On My Block

Drake (Jozy Altidore)

“The young kicker that everybody in here fear / A lot of ya’ll are still soundin’ like last year / This game needs change and I’m the [expletive] cashier.”

The young buck stuck his head in the room, showed a bit of talent, and was quickly anointed the future. But was it a bit premature? His raw ability, especially in comparison to his domestic peers, is unquestioned, but he’s struggled to make the case that he’s the real deal. Is the quality there? Only time will tell. He’s young, he played more this year than last, and hopefully he shows another level in the near future — like on Saturday. He looks to have the mental fortitude to be here for a while. But the same thing is said about many who eventually disappear.

Mix-Tape Song: Successful

Kool Herc (Herculez Gomez)

Really, nothing needs to be said here. The coolest nickname around, just cause it fits. Kool Herc, changin’ the game since collard greens. Um, yeah … that doesn’t make any sense.

Think another MC is a better fit? Drop a verse below. And these are the breaaaaks, break it up, break it up, break it uuuuup.

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Football Managers And Their Mind Games

The Chairman — Sat, 01 May 2010 05:13:01 +0000

The Classless One

Following Inter Milan’s 3-2 aggregate win over Barcelona in the Champions League semi-final at Camp Nou, Jose Mourinho said the following:

“This is the best loss of my life. It is a shame I couldn’t play: I would have been awful on the pitch but I would have shed blood as my players did”.

Judging by his classless romp around the football pitch, it is increasingly evident that Jose Mourinho suffers from an inferiority complex. I fully understand that the Special One’s teams thrive off of an ‘Us against the World’ mentality, however after the battle has been waged and won, it is imperative that the victors not needlessly shame the losers. Never have I seen anyone, particularly a coach, so blatantly go out of his way to taunt the opposition after a victory. What is he overcompensating for? His statement above leads me to believe that he wishes he were a professional footballer. Why else would he run around the pitch as if he played and say such things?

He increasingly sounds like a war-obsessed politician that has never served his country. It is usually these types that talk tough as if they have been there before. “When the moment of leaving everything on the pitch arrives, you don’t leave the skill, you leave the blood” he said. Not to dampen Inter’s magnificent win, which was well deserved, but the manager needs to take a step back and carry himself in a more respectable manner. I suspect that if he had experienced top-flight football, he would know better than to behave so boorishly. Perhaps that is why Carlo Ancelotti and Pep Guardiola could lose with such grace. After all, these are two men have played and coached at the highest level. They have won and they have lost. They know what it takes and they wouldn’t dare rub their victories in on those who fall short.

The Bad Salesman

Owen Coyle says he won’t stop Gary Cahill from leaving if a bigger team comes along looking to buy the player. Coyle might as well have hung a ‘For Sale’ sign around the defender’s neck. That is not to say that he doesn’t rate the player, he obviously does, but it looks as if Bolton would rather cash in on this prized commodity so they can buy a few younger players to sell at a later date. Could Coyle possibly be trying to tempt Arsene Wenger? It is no secret that Arsenal is in need of a good central defender. Perhaps a swap; Arsenal buy Cahill and in exchange Bolton keep Jack Wilshire on loan for another year?

The Great Anfield Historian from Manchester

Life is riddled with hard choices. For Liverpool, it may soon be the most difficult of choices. Do they roll over and lose to Chelsea, or do they soldier on and try to gain a point from the encounter? Either way you cut it, it will surely hurt. If Liverpool beat or tie Chelsea, they will all but certainly be helping United top Chelsea in the race for the Premier League crown. That wouldn’t be so bad, if it weren’t for the fact that this coronation would be the 19th for United, one better than Liverpool. No longer will Liverpool fans be able to fall back to that old reliable refrain, that they have more titles than everyone else. Should they lose, they will all but certainly be eliminated from contention for the last Champions League spot. Such a fate may mean that they have to sell players such as Steven Gerrard and Fernando Torres. What does a team in turmoil do?

Now Alex Ferguson chimes in with the following jewel to stoke Liverpool’s fire (that is if they have any fire left):

“I am confident they will do their maximum,” he said. “Great clubs don’t throw their history and traditions away for one game. They have been in 11 European finals. They have won 18 titles. That is a fantastic history. You don’t throw that away. The fans know that too. Do you think the fans want to go home saying their players capitulated and they didn’t try and thinking it wouldn’t happen again?”

I wonder if he would say Liverpool is a great club after the match? Never have such nice words come out of the Scotsman’s mouth about Liverpool. I wonder why? Don’t worry Fergie; I’m sure the Liverpudlians are moved by your kind words. This will be a game to watch.

Talk about Bad Timing

Roberto Mancini has reportedly told Carlos Tevez that Tevez can leave the club if he is still unhappy with the manager’s training methods. The player allegedly isn’t fond of the Italian’s two a day training regimen during weeks when the team doesn’t have a midweek game. Far be it for me to side with a well-paid player, but could the timing of Mancini’s rebuttal have been any worse? City is in the midst of a tight race for the last Champions League spot, with only three games left. Instead of creating an unneeded diversion from the task at hand, I think the manager should have bit his tongue and voiced his stance when the season was over. It would be a shame if the team didn’t achieve the lofty expectations set at the start of the season started and Mancini found himself on the unemployment line at season’s end. I say tell Carlos off, just don’t do it until he has gotten you to the promised land. If he could keep West Ham afloat, he can get Manchester City to the CL.

Lebanese Politicians Use Football To Commemorate Anniversary of Civil War

The Chairman — Tue, 20 Apr 2010 19:03:28 +0000

Last week, Lebanese lawmakers took to the pitch to commemorate the 35^th anniversary of the outbreak of the Lebanese Civil War (1975-1990). The war, which claimed the lives of 150,000 to 200,000 citizens, divided the country and left it in shambles. Today, Lebanon enjoys a precarious peace with an uneasy political relationship between the Prime Minister Saad Hariri’s party and the Hezbollah lead opposition.

Aside from the distraction of watching out of shape political rivals playing football, one thing was noticeably missing, fans. The game, like all other football matches since 2007, was played without the presence of any Lebanese citizens. Over the years, many of Lebanon’s football teams have fallen under sectarian and political lines, and as a consequence of the ensuing violence at matches, lawmakers have banned spectators from stadiums. Ironically enough, the match was played under the slogan: “We are one team.” That’s kind of hard to believe if fellow citizens can’t even watch football alongside one another. If that aspiration is to become reality, Lebanon’s politicians have their work cut out for them.

For video footage of the match visit the BBC News website by clicking here.

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Fox Soccer Channel Goes All In With Technology

Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq. — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 16:57:26 +0000

Fox Soccer Channel has gone all in. Well, almost all in. In the past year, FSC has gone HD, picked up Setanta’s leftovers, wrapped its arms around UEFA Champions League television rights, and secured a bevy of on-air “talent”. In the midst of this spending spree, FSC also made a huge investment into spanking new technology to analyze matches. I give you SoccerOne’s Magnetic Instructor’s Board (available in 3 sizes); FSC’s answer to Chuck Todd’s Election Day technology.

How can you not be amazed by FSC’s new magnetic technology with its dry erase surface, magnets and markers? It’s enough to make Wired Magazine readers drool. According to SoccerOne, “each board includes a complete set of 12 blue player magnets, 12 red player magnets, 2 yellow player magnets, and 2 colored markers with erasers.” That’s right ladies and gentlemen, 2 yellow player magnets!

This past weekend on FSC, you couldn’t help but notice the Christmas morning glow on the faces of Keith Costigan and Warren Barton as they broke down tactics on their magical device. Apple must have been thinking, “Damn, dry erase, why didn’t we think of that?” My heart aches for those who already went out and purchased an iPad.

Become a SoccerOne VIP member and for only $40 you can be as technologically advanced as FSC. Zonal Marking, beware. ZM might want to figure out a way to use this dry erase technology before his blog becomes obsolete.

Somewhere, Warren Barton is crying.

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On Tea Parties and Football Terraces: Deconstructing Fringe Elements

Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq. — Tue, 30 Mar 2010 04:38:36 +0000

I’m kind of sick of the “fringe element” argument. It goes something like this. Group of people attend event. Elements of said group engage in behavior that is unbecoming of ladies or gentlemen. Then the powers associated with said group claim that the unbecoming behavior is not representative of the group at large. They are, in effect, a “fringe element” of the greater group. This supposedly relieves the remaining majority from any responsibility concerning the actions of the fringe element. Very clever. Very clever, indeed.

But here’s the problem. A group’s majority often has more control in these situations than they let on. It’s comical when the majority acts victimized by the behavior of a minority group as if they are powerless to do anything. If the element in question is truly a fringe element, then the remaining majority, if so moved, has the power to assert its dominant belief that certain behavior is improper. Sadly, often the majority is not so moved, and their silence speaks volumes. Any group that is unwilling to use its voice to drown out obscene fringe elements deserves to be tarnished until it learns to responsibly use its collective voice. Ignoring ignorance is a conscious decision that allows ignorance to fester. We see this time and time again.

Imagine that you are in the stands watching your favorite team, or in a crowd watching your favorite politician find new ways to say nothing. A group of people to your right start yelling all types of highly improper obscenities. We’ll call them the fringe element. If you believe that the fringe element doesn’t represent the views of the vast majority of your group, what do you do? If your answer is nothing, as frequently is the case, then I have a few observations: (1) Doing nothing suggests that the majority may not find the behavior as offensive as they’ll later claim when they inevitably have to explain that the fringe doesn’t represent the greater movement. In fact, if others outside of the group don’t draw attention to improprieties, the larger group will infrequently self-police itself. (2) You have little credibility when you complain about a fringe group tarnishing the reputation of the greater group if you are not willing to stand up and confront those tarnishing your reputation.

Next time you hear the fringe element argument, whether applied to tea parties, football terraces, or any other regular gatherings, don’t buy it. Ask yourself what is being done by the members of the greater group to quell the fringe voices. If the answer is not much, reserve your sympathy for others. And if you find yourself part of a group pointing fingers at a fringe element, you might want to ask yourself what you can do other than shifting the blame on others.

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George Cohen Does It Again, Passes Health Care Reform

Clive Longbottom-Fellow, Esq. — Mon, 22 Mar 2010 11:14:53 +0000

At critical times in our nation’s history, great men have stood up and moved us forward. George Cohen has now done it twice in one weekend.

Late last night many of us watched health care reform pass in Congress. It was one of those rare moments when watching our Congress in action made me proud. You see, I love dysfunctional, chaotic politics. I hate the fact that nothing typically gets done to improve the lives of average citizens, but I’ve got to admit that I do enjoy good theater. Usually, I prefer to watch Taiwanese or British parliament, but yesterday made me proud, not because of the result, but because of the spectacle. Finally on a non-State-of-the-Union night, American political theater caught up with our all-star games, and for that, we can be proud to be American.

I felt a bit uneasy waking up this morning in socialized America. But the real jolt came when I opened my door a few moments ago to find a bag of OxyContin in the doorway in a burlap sack marked “socialized medicine” in black crayon. Who knew government could act so quickly?

I’ve concluded that MLS/MLS Players Union mediator George Cohen was somehow involved in this weekend’s health care negotiations. What other reason could there be for such a timely resolution? No one should be shocked when it comes out that a Senior Citizens Draft is part of our new health care reform package. Previously, too many of our seniors were stuck without anywhere to go. But with the new Seniors Draft, we can now send our old people to communities that want them instead of letting them sit around idly. It’s a simple fix to a longstanding problem. That George Cohen is a smart man. I feel sorry for him when he has to take on immigration, but I’m sure he’ll figure out a way to bring the sides together around some sort of immigration draft.

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Beowulf on MLS: Do I Want the League To Be Popular? Meh.

Beowulf Ritchie — Sun, 21 Mar 2010 15:22:46 +0000

It seems to be the consensus among American soccer fans and those who blog, write, and talk about it, that a spike in popularity of the beautiful game in this country would be a good thing. I respectfully disagree. I have several reasons for this opinion, on which I will elaborate below, but my basic logic is quite simple: It’s good the way it is.

The thing is, with the proliferation of cable TV and the internet, there is no shortage of high-quality football available to Americans. If you want to watch the Premier League, Champions League or Serie A from the comfort of your living room or from a local bar, chances are you can. And admit it, it’s kind of nice that the people you run into watching soccer tend to know the game. I mean, which would you rather hear: Gareth from Manchester screaming for Wayne Rooney, or Joey from Long Island yelling “why don’t they just use their hands??” Plus, I’ve heard Americans singing some of the English club songs. It doesn’t sound nearly as cool without the accent.

Perhaps even more worrisome is what would become of the broadcasts if the big American networks get their hands on them.There’s no doubt they’ll find a way to work in TV timeouts (according to a study by the Wall Street Journal, about an hour of the average NFL broadcast is made up of commercials). Then there are the announcers themselves. Do you really want the lyrical calls of seasoned British announcers replaced by the inane chatter, celebrity guest appearances, and useless sideline reports that typify American sports broadcasts? Do you want to start hearing references to Emmanuel Adebayor Beware, Wayne Bridge To Nowhere, and Ryan Tower of Babel? I’m pretty sure I don’t. And if you do, it’s probably best that we remain not friends.

Then there are ticket prices. Right now, you can get midfield seats to see the New York Red Bulls at their brand new stadium for $45. By contrast, mid-court tickets (not courtside, two levels up) to a Knicks game cost about $300. To see the Knicks! The more popular soccer becomes in the States, the more demand there will be, the higher ticket prices will go. So, you keep pining away for an explosion in soccer’s popularity in the States. I’ll keep watching Premier League on TV and buying the occasional cheap ticket to see an MLS game.