Recently Adidas unveiled the Jabulani, the official match ball for the 2010 South Africa World Cup. The cost? $149. At that price, I expect my ball to drive me to practice, clean my shoes, and purify my water.
I understand the rationale that businesses provide for their product costs – research and development, marketing, blah, blah, blah. The reason an official match ball (meaning a FIFA approved ball) costs so much is the same reason that Nike’s Air Jordans or LeBron’s Air Brons (or whatever they’re called) cost so much … because they think it won’t offend the senses and you’ll buy it. Fair enough. That’s what businesses do.
But at least from FIFA, we get a detailed analysis of what goes into the development of your $149 official match ball. Here are the seven ball requirements for FIFA officialness together with some deep thought from yours truly:
1. Consistent Circumference
FIFA: This is crucial for players to make accurate passes and go on thrilling dribbles. Could you imagine everyone playing with different sized footballs?
Clive: So it requires millions in research to develop relatively equal sized balls to ensure that players can make accurate passes and go on thrilling dribbles? Doubt it. I’ve seen barefoot kids make accurate passes and go on thrilling dribbles with a ball made out of banana leaves and extra rope.
2. Perfect Roundness
FIFA: Playing with a perfectly round ball is very important. If a ball is not completely round, it will not roll normally, making dribbling very difficult. Furthermore, it will not fly through the air as expected. So, despite aiming your shot perfectly on goal, it could easily fly over the goal or past the post.
Clive: Other reasons for the ball flying over the goal include: 1) Not being very good at aiming your ball; 2) Mistakenly thinking you are aiming your shot perfectly on goal; 3) Needing to spend less money on pricey gear and more time practicing.
3. Consistent Rebound
FIFA: Rebound testing checks the elasticity of the ball. Uniform rebound is crucial for players, especially when stopping the ball after a long pass with the chest, foot or head. If the ball does not bounce as expected, how can a player control it or improve his game?
Clive: Again, by practicing. This reminds me of a player who can’t trap a ball and then blames his shoes or the ball. Um, maybe it’s you. I’ve seen kids brilliantly control a “ball” made of a plastic bag stuffed with garbage. You say rebound, I say practice. Anyway, I’d imagine that FIFA officialness can be achieved in this category at a much lower price.
4. Minimal Water Absorption
FIFA: Something as simple as water can make a football lose most of the properties that make it a pleasure to play with. It is vital that a ball does not absorb water like a sponge. A ball that absorbs too much water will not roll very far if at all, and players will definitely notice it when they head the ball. The ball must stay afloat as much as possible and not sink like a stone. Under extreme conditions, when it has rained for hours and the ground is soaked, any ball will absorb some water. How much it absorbs is crucial.
Clive: It’s as if we’ve been playing with stones for the past few decades. I’ve played with water logged balls before. FIFA is right. They can get heavy. But the cost of a proper ball that doesn’t absorb too much water is $149? I’ll take a little more water and a lower price please.
5. Weight
FIFA: A ball’s weight is important because if it is too heavy, a player needs more energy to kick it or throw it. Excessive weight also increases the risk of injuries, but on the other hand, if a football is too light, it is difficult to control.
Clive: I thought the football weight problem was solved years ago, and at a much lower price point. People have been playing football for a long time. I can’t recall the last time I heard someone complain about the weight of a moderately priced ball. How much lighter does a ball need to be? How much lighter people, how much? People are used to playing with balls that weigh something. But I think we’re being told that we need weightless balls. Next up, floating balls. Heard it here first.
6. Minimal Pressure Loss
FIFA: Pressure in a football must remain consistent throughout a match. If it does not, the ball must be pumped up again as soon as possible. That might be entertaining, but it would certainly disrupt the flow of the game.
Clive: I can’t remember the last time I saw a decent ball require pumping during a game. Maybe it’s a good idea to get three $50 balls instead of one $150 ball. That would solve FIFA’s disruption issue while simultaneously ensuring that if a ball flies into the forest, you have a back up ball.
7: Size and Shape Retention
FIFA: This test applies only to top-quality FIFA APPROVED balls and it ensures that the ball’s shape, pressure and circumference remain constant. The ball is fired against a steel plate at 50 kilometres per hour – 2,000 times! The seams and air valves must remain intact and undamaged. Only minimal pressure loss and minimal changes in roundness and (pointer) circumference are permitted.
Clive: It’s a football game. Not a contest to see Roberto Carlos smack a ball against a concrete wall 2,000 times.
Bottom line, people don’t have to purchase goods if they find the price offensive. But the aforementioned guidelines for official FIFA status just leaves a bad taste in my mouth. For decades, footballs have been just fine. In the past few decades, we’ve seen the price of official balls double in price. But as prices have doubled, I’ve heard more complaints from players about the balls changing the game, and not for the better. The flight of the ball is no longer predictable. Countless goalkeepers have complained about the last two World Cup balls, the Fevernova and the Timegeist, citing their ridiculous flight trajectories. So, really, shouldn’t increased price result in better balls?
The “official” FIFA designation provides the rationale for companies to charge $149 for a ball. Exacting tests are created, and then large companies comply and use these standards as their rationale to charge you more. But if these tests only result in complaints and higher and higher price points, at some point you have to ask if FIFA is simply subsidizing ball manufacturers by providing them with the justification to charge you more. Basically, FIFA officialness is your corporate stamp that ensures you pay a high price for “quality products” while simultaneously creating a false sense of legitimacy that will prevent you from asking the big question: Why am I paying this much for a soccer ball? And really, why would you question these balls?!?! They’re official and tested!!
I was going to take my ball and go home, but now I’m going to take your ball and go home since it meets official FIFA standards and is expensive.
